| 'tis been awhile |
[23 Sep 2005|01:22pm] |
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mood |
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 working |
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music |
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the chorus of typing |
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It has been a long long time since I've told y'all anything about what has been going on. Figured it was about time.
Gus and I have been living together for about three months now. We have had our moments, and I think its fair to say that we fight more now that we officially live together than before. Little things, you know. He's a slob, I'm a control freak. I work weeks, he works weekends, so we have issues over noise the nights before our days off. He never cleans the bathroom, I never do my dishes. But we are working it out. I wouldn't trade it for the world, good and bad.
Sean lives with us two, and the three of us are leading the excursion club together as co-directors (check it out: www.excursionclub.org/ucsb). Its going to be a great year.
Work is good. I got a promotion!! One of our secretaries was a total drunk, so they fired her and gave me her job. Now I can actually pay my bills, YEA!! ;-) The job is challenging and stressful, but I'm learning a lot, and keeping my brain sharp for law school. Plus my attorney is the coolest one in the entire firm. He's in Europe right now, so I get three weeks of pretty chill work. I had a brief moment where I had to choose between a new job offer and accepting the promotion here. I am really glad I decided to stay. I was miserable for my first month here, but now everything is working out.
All my roomates and friends went back to school yesterday. Its weird, watching everyone go back to classes as I continue to go to work everyday. Like I said, I am loving the challenges of my job, but I definitely miss being in school. Well, two more years and I get to go back.
Well, I guess I should get back to work. Later on, peace out.
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| Fucking Work |
[14 Jul 2005|07:26pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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watching that 70s show. |
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I hate my new job. Get my day, okay. I take a file to the court records to be filed. The lady is totally rude, and when I finally get someone different to help me, our firm credit card is rejected for being expired. So I have to stand there and call my work and get it fixed because I don't have the three freaking dollars on me. Then I get back to the firm, and Brian gives me shit about being too long and saying that he could have done it and I just doubled back. Whatever. So then i file for hours, and then go back to the court to file some more. I swear, you have to pass an IQ test to work at the court to make sure you're stupid enough. The lady behind the Family Law and Probate desk didn't know how to file a probate!! So I wait FORTY FIVE MINUTES for the next clerk. Then she gets all in my face about the credit card again too. While this is all going on, Brian my fellow runner calls me THREE TIMES to tell me to take my lunch at 12:30. I tell him THREE TIMES that I won't even be back to the firm until 12:45, and won't be able to get out until 1pm, my usual lunch time anyway. He throws a little hissy fit about it because, get this. He wants me to take my lunch early so he can take his lunch early so he can be back in time to cover Kim at the desk so he can sit there for an hour doing NOTHING, which he does ANYWAY. So I tell him to take his lunch early instead, but noooo. So then I get back, and I tell Kim what happened, who tells Lisa, who tells our boss Tim. Tim tells Brian that it is inappropriate, how he speaks to me. Tim also said that we could not continue to leave work at 5:15 together to take the mail and the deposits and that one of us had to stay til 5:30. Brian takes me home, sooo... that sucks. Because now I have to take the bus home. And Brian got super pissed about the Tim thing so now I have to take it to work too.
this whole day BLEW ASSSSS!!
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[27 May 2005|09:05pm] |
 | You scored as Cinderella. Your alter ego is Cinderella! You often find yourself doing a lot of housework, but if you are patient, your hard work usually pays off. You are prone to losing things, so dont rush through everything.
Cinderella | | 81% | Peter Pan | | 75% | Goofy | | 63% | The Beast | | 63% | Snow White | | 63% | Sleeping Beauty | | 56% | Donald Duck | | 44% | Ariel | | 44% | Pinocchio | | 31% | Cruella De Ville | | 0% | </td>
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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[11 May 2005|11:11pm] |
Oh yeah, and in an effort to appease my boredom, I stumbled across this site with a little help from my friend Lacy. It predicts your love/sex life. It was creepy how accurate it was. I suggest all go and check it out.
http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1115872331ghg
Again.
Moving on.
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[11 May 2005|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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I am SO bored. I should be doing my homework, but its boring. So I'm updating for the first time in a long time instead. :-D
Gus and I are great. We're getting ready to move in together in a month. It will be awesome to come home to him every night.
I am also getting ready to graduate from college (SHOCK, HORROR, GASP) Next year its into the work force for me, and the drudgery.
Um, yeah. I guess there is nothing else really new going on now.
Sooo... yeah.
Moving on now.
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| Still bored |
[21 Apr 2005|09:19pm] |
-----------------DO YOU------------------
55. have a dream that keeps coming back: no
56. read the newspaper: yeah, online
57. have any gay or lesbian friends: several
58. have a favorite candy: no, i value my teeth
59. have a best friend: yes, my boyfriend
60. smoke: nothing legal. Oh wait, except Hooka.
61. curse: no, I swear. like a sailor
62. take a shower everyday:not everyday. Who has time?!
63. want to go to college: haha, I'm done with college :-P
64. like high school:NO
65. want to get married: yes, how about tomorrow?!
66. type w/ your fingers on the right keys: no. who came up with that stupid system in the first place?!
67. get motion sickness: not usually
68. think you're a health freak: nope
69. get along with your parents: as long as they're in another state, yes
70. like thunderstorms: I don't mind them
71. drink?: yes
72. do drugs?: nothing hard
73. pray?: yes
74. go to church? when I can
75. talk to strangers who IM you?: not anymore
76. sleep with stuffed animals?: they're on my bed. but I don't sleep with them
77. take walks in the rain?: well, I have to in order to get to class.
78. talk to people even though you hate them?: I don't refuse to talk to people I hate, nor do i go out of my way to.
79. drive?: no, i get driven
80. like to drive fast?: no, speed is stupid. whats the rush, and why is it worth the risk?
81. like to party?: yes, but getting over it
82. like school?: more than anything
83. trust people easily?: its been said. But I know how to say no.
84. have a lot of friends?: yeah
85. do your parents spoil you?: oh yeah.
86. do you have a cell phone?: well, i don't live under a rock.
87. do you have a curfew?: no, but Gus gets sad if I come home late.
88. do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?: no, i have a soulmate. :-D
89. do you daydream a lot?: not really
90. about what, most of the time?: what I have to do.
91. do you have a lot of ex boyfriend/girlfriends?: depends on a definition. I have had one prior serious boyfriend, one semi-serious, and about five not so serious.
92. are you friends with them?: yes
93. do you believe in sex before marriage?: what is that supposed to mean, believe in it? I believe in people knowing what is right for them. I do not believe it is always morally wrong.
94. do you like blondes?: no, redheads
95. or brunettes better?: no, redheads
96. do you read your horoscope? never. As a previous newspaper employee, i know they just make them up.
97. do you believe in that stuff? see above.
99. do you have bangs? not since ninth grade
100. do you wear contacts? yeah, night and days
101. braces? never
102. retainer? never
103. do you snore? its been said.
104. do you talk in your sleep? its been said
105. do you like onions? yeah. but I don't eat them on their own ;-)
106. do you like pina colladas? mmmm....
107. do you keep a diary? its a journal, thankyouverymuch
108. do you like to dance? oh yes
109. do you like to sing? yes
110. are you good at it? its been said
111. do you like to talk on the phone? lets just say I use 3500 minutes a month. ;-)
112. do you like where you live? yes, its a little loud sometimes, but...
113. do you like to fingerpaint? with my nephews. YES god, they're cute
114. do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: age is a number
115. do you listen to songs on repeat often?: once in a while.
116. do you dye your hair regularly?: no
117. what about your eyebrows?: um, no
118. do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: I burn
119. do you like spiders: like them?! I'm not scared of them, but...
120. do you like being around people: most of the time
121. do you play any instruments?: somewhat
122. If so, what one(s)?: guitar and flute
123. do you have too many love interests: yes, Gus in the morning, Gus in the afternoon, Gus at night, sweet gus, silly gus, serious gus, playful gus, focused gus....
124. do you know how to play poker: yeah, but I've never won
125. do you talk a lot?: i try not to, but you know there are just times every now and then when stuff just comes into your head and you know you should be quiet, but you just want to say it, and you do, even though you know no one cares, and then....
126. do you think you're cute?: I'm adorable.
127. do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: Yes, I'm sweet too.
128. do you have any birthmarks?:I did, but they took it off when I got cancer.
129. do you get online a lot?: well, its ALWAYS on....
130. do you have a social life? ugh, yes. too large of one.
131. do you like to travel? Yeah, wish I could more...
132. do you want to get out of your hometown? I couldn't wait to get out, but now I'm starting to see the good side of it. But I'm still not going back.
133. do you like snapple? what the hell kind of a question is that?! who wrote this thing?!
134. do you drink a lot of water?: yes, I wear my camelback everywhere
135. do you have a tan?: no, I'm an Irish princess who needs protection from the evil sun
136. do you have your own phone/phone line?: my cell phone
137. do you have your own pool?: yeah, in my bathtub ;-)
138. do you look more like your mother or father?: daddy's girl
139. do you cry a lot?: not since I dumped my ex.
140. do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: well, I don't wear them inorder to show my belly, but they do.
141. do you wear chucks?: come again?
142. do you like to work?: no, I want to go to school forever.
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[19 Apr 2005|12:59pm] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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music |
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"Stand By Me"by Oasis |
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ARE YOU
26. Smart? its been asserted.
27. Superstitious? yes, but not when it really matters.
28. Strong willed?: I'm working on it
29. Obnoxious?: yes
30. A Good Friend?: yes
31. Slutty?: I've moved out of that phase of my life.
32. Understanding?: Not as much as i should be.
33. Random?: Especially when stoned.
34. Emotional?: Extremely. Emotion is what makes us human
35. Sensitive?: OH yeah
36. Mean?: Sometimes.
37. Blunt?: Not really
38. Honest?: Yes.
39. Bitchy?: No
40. Original?: To an extent
41. Arrogant?: No, I have esteem issues
42. Confident?:See above.
43. Artsy?: I want to be, but who has time??
43: Athletic?: *laughs hysterically*
44. Ambitious?: Yes
45. Dependent?: On the boy? Yes
46. Funny?: I make the people I care about laugh. All that matters.
47. Lazy?: I am motivationally impaired. But less so this quarter
48. Sarcastic?: no more than anyone else
49. Opinionated?: YES
50. Organzied? very
51. Ticklish? not too bad
52. Shy? No
53: A people-pleaser?: Yeah, but I know how to say now
54. Romantic?: Yeah.
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[18 Apr 2005|10:28pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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watching Supernanny |
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BASICS
1. Name: Katherine Virginia Masters
2. Nicknames: Kate,Katie
3. Birthday: July 8, 1983
4. Birthplace: Steamboat Springs CO
5. Your gender: Female
6. Sexual preference: Male
7. Single?: in no sense of the word
9. Age you act: What does that mean? Everybody is different depending on circumstance.
10. Age you wish you were: I want to stay 21 forever
11. Your height: 5'8"
12. The color of your eyes: Blue
13. Happy with it?: its the best
14. The color of your hair: Red
15. Happy with it?: You couldn't pay me to change it
16. Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right handed
17. Your living arrangement?: Right now I live with roomates, but in two months I'm moving in with the boy.
18. Your family: Is crazy and all still in CO
19. What's your job: To learn
20. Piercings?:ears
21. Tattoos?:no
22. Obsessions?: my boy
23. Do you speak another language? French and Arabic
24. Have a favorite quote?: "Despite it all, I still believe that people are good at heart." Anne Frank
25. Do you have a webpage?: no
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| *sigh* |
[13 Feb 2005|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved" |
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I just had the most romantic morning of my life.
I would tell you more, but I'm going to save that for just me.
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| How Did We Get Here? |
[25 Jan 2005|12:10pm] |
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mood |
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anxious |
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music |
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Eagles "Hotel California" |
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I know that I have said it a thousand times before, but life is oh so strange.
I think Sean is right. Our life isn't really life, we are all just living in a movie without even knowing it. Sometimes at night I'll put my arms around Gus and somehow won't recognize him. At those times I wonder to myself how did I get here? I'm afraid that one of these mornings I will wake up and realize that the past year never happened; I'll still be stuck in that prison. My life is so perfect now compared to what it was that I have a hard time believing its true. I'm just waiting for the ax to fall and put an end to it all. After all the pain I've known this much happiness just doesn't feel natural.
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[07 Dec 2004|06:10pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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Ben Harper "Forever" |
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I didn't want this. I didn't go out looking for it. But still it found me. It grabbed onto me and held me tight. Now it won't let me go.
I'm in love. I know, coming from me who has a new guy in my sights constantly, you may be rolling your eyes. But this is it. Gus is not like the other guys I tend to date who treat me like crap, the ones I beat my brains out over and still get hardly a glance out of. He sees me. He really sees me. He treats me like a princess. But more than that. He is a geniunely nice guy. He is considerate of people. For instance, he tries to make sure we don't spend too much time at his apartment because he doesn't want his roomate to get upset. He always wants to make me happy. Christ, I could go on forever but I won't. I just wanted to get out how very very happy I am...
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| Stoned Thoughts... |
[26 Nov 2004|04:19pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Alanis Morissette "Head Over Heels |
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Gus called me twice last night. He made me feel like I haven't felt in a long time. To be honest, not since the beginning with Peter. I'm going crazy with this. I'm not supposed to feel this way. I can't feel this way. I'm going to get so hurt with this. One way or another, this is not going to end well. He has yet to go to all of those bad emotional places I've been, and he has no idea how low one can go. He doesn't understand why I am the way I am. And I don't want to tell him. He doesn't understand that I am not beautiful, how dirty it has been, that I'm no angel. And I don't want him to see the truth. But he will.
I can't help this. I'm falling so hard. This isn't lip service. He drives me crazy, and I can't take it. But I'm going to be me. Me is mean, me says the wrong things and is selfish. He holds the door for me, he rubs my back before I fall asleep. He knows to kiss me good bye even if he's just going to the kitchen. He pays attention to me even in a crowd of 20 people. He doesn't deserve someone who is absentminded and easily distracted, someone who purposefully avoids his gaze.
But he's already grabbed me, and he's going to get me. He has me, shit. Now he's going to see the real me coming out in all my stupidity.
Fuck. I can't help this.
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| As a hush falls over IV... |
[24 Nov 2004|09:28pm] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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Dave Matthews "Where Are You Going" |
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I'm the only one left.
I swear to God, I'm the only one not going home for Thanksgiving. I haven't been home for thanksgiving in a really long time, but this year is the first time I haven't gone ANYWHERE. Its really weird actually. I'm not, like, depressed or anything. Its just really surreal to realize that everyone is making this big deal out of a day that I'm pretty much ignoring. Must be how people who ignore Christmas feel.
On a lighter, yet weirder note, I finally left myself be with Gus. He spent the night here last night because all of my roomates were gone. I haven't felt like that in what seems like a lifetime. Gus seems to know exactly what I need. He called me beautiful, he assured me that it was just us, that we weren't doing anything wrong, that he wasn't going to hurt me. He wanted to make me feel good, he said he wanted me to be happy because it seems like I haven't been happy much in the past.
He wants to save me. Can he? Should he? I feel so safe with him, I feel like this could finally be good. Like I could finally have something that isn't complicated or full of petty games. I can finally be myself and not worry. But just because you feel it doesn't mean its there. It may seem so good right now, but I have barely known him for a month. It could sour so fast, and then what would I be left with? Just another hole in my heart, and potentially losing the Excursions, the only thing that has made me feel whole.
But yet it seems like its too late to go back...
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| Uggh.. |
[18 Nov 2004|10:13am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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Oasis "Wonderwall" |
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I know I haven't posted anything in such a long time. I have been beyond busy. I don't even really have time to bring you all up to date. I'm exhausted from the club staff meeting that lasted until 2am last night, and I have English class to look forward to in half an hour. But I'm alive. What more do you want?
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| This weekend |
[02 Nov 2004|11:40pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Beatles "Something" |
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I can't give tons of details because I am exhausted and have training at 7am, but here goes nothing.
Thursday: me and Mike threw a staff party at his place. Tons of fun, Sean got drunk, puked and passed out. But what else is new? I also went to the Fuzzy Logic CD release party that night. I hooked up with Joe and slept at his place. Hehe, I'm evil.
Friday, when I finally dragged myself out of Joe's bed (evil laugh), I had to throw all my gear together and book it to IV theater because we were going camping off of East Camino Cielo. The guys all gave me a bunch of crap for the hickies on my neck, I'm never living that down. We built fire out of flint, saw some deer, picked wild pears, went on a solo hike, played kissing rugby (only excursion people could make kissing a full contact sport).
Saturday, got up and backpacked back to civilization. Went rock climbing, then got dressed up like a smurf and went and kicked EAB's ass at sloshball (we so totally won). After a long shower (face paint doesn't come off easily), dressed up like a leprechaun and went back to JJ's for his party. Got really drunk and camped out in his backyard.
Sunday, woke up still drunk. After calling 20thousand people, went to China City buffet for lunch and then hiked up to red rock and went cliff jumping. AWESOME, although I was scared shitless to do it at first. After that, went back to my place where the whole staff dressed up like the cast from Salute Your Shorts, and then paraded down Del Playa singing the theme song. Again, got really drunk, but not that bad. Ran into Joe at one point. Finally fell asleep, and woke up the next morning to my living room floor being covered with people. That was hilarious.
Really good times. Check out the pictures in the gallery at the Excursion Club website, www.excursionclub.org
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| Rain, Rain |
[19 Oct 2004|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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Van Morrison "Moondance" |
] |
A good week, albeit a wet and cold one.
The "date" with Gilberto went okay. But I don't think I want to do it again. I just don't think we think the same way, which is really important. And also, I see him dealing with some things in the club and he seems to have a bad attitude about things in a way that I can see causing problems in a dating scenario. Plus, Alex says she heard he was kind of a slut.
Went to go see the Fuzzy Logic show on Thursday. An AWESOME show (good job, guys!) I rode down with Joe, Laurel was supposed to come with me but she went down with Sara so she didn't have to go by herself. It was cool, except Laurel and Sara missed the entire first set, which meant that I was perched on the bar by myself for about an hour. But once they got there, tore up the place, it was great. Hehe, during the last song we ran up and put dollars in the guys waist bands. I thought it was funny.
Spending time with Joe was great though. Hes not the kind of guy I would usually be attracted to (is it just me or am I saying that a lot recently?) But he is really cool. He seems really chill and laid back, just trying to figure life out and what not. And the whole, being into good music and everything is so amazing. And he plays the sax, which kinda reminds me of my dad (in a good way, not a creepy poke your eyes out way). He's called me a couple of times since then and wants to hang out. Keep you all posted.
Oh, I also met another guy at the same bar that night, named Mike (I have 6 Mikes in my phone now!!) He called me tonight, so if Joe turns sour... hehehe.
Friday night got DRUNK as all hell (and a few other chemical enhancements, but I didn't tell you that). We had an Excursions party over at Laura's, a "Round the World" theme, I was a leprechaun. But that party turned LAME. So I went to Annie's, who was having a blacklight party. Totally cool. Also wound up with Joe and Tristan for awhile, don't ask me why or how.
Crashed in my bed around 3am, totally clothed. Hartley came by 3 hours later and dragged my ass out of bed. We took off (pluss JJ, Dave, and a few other people) for Joshua Tree. After 6 hours of driving (half of which we were all still drunk, 'cept the driver of course) we climbed and bouldered around all afternoon. Made great steak fajitas for dinner, got a good fire going, told some CRAZY stories (what happens around the fire stays around the fire). But we were too cool to sleep at the campsite, so around midnight we climbed up to a rock to sleep. Then about 5am, I wake up to JJ poking me in the ribs. He wanted me to move over because it had started to rain (!!) and we had to put the tarp over us, because of course we had no tent. That didn't wind up working because of the wind, though, so we just slept in the rain.
Woke up, climbed some more, and then drove home, this time in only four hours though.
Staff meeting at my house Sunday night. A bunch of bickering over the party Friday night, with me just taking over eventually. Because I don't have enough to do.
Looking forward to an even better week ahead of me, with my sister and my nephews out here visitng.
Back to class now.
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| Um, okay... |
[13 Oct 2004|01:40am] |
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mood |
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surprised |
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music |
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Marvin Gaye "Mercy Mercy Me" |
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Quick update before I pass out, because I have to get up early. But this is important!
So I got asked out on a date tonight. A legitimate date. Yeah, weird, I know. I don't think I've ever been asked out before, I've only been on dates with people who were already my boyfriend.
So what happened you may be asking right about now? Well, he's an excursion guy (which makes sense, because I only spend time with excursion people these days). Gilberto is his name (Italian, no, really Italian, like from Italy). We've gone hiking together a couple of times, and now of course we're on staff together. We got along really well, but I didn't read much more into it. And then after the meeting was over and we were all hanging out trying to figure out who was going to do what with whom this week, he asked me what I was doing tomorrow. When I said nothing really, he asked me to have dinner with him. I said yeah, sure, before I even realized the implications of such a response.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Only time will tell. I like him, of course, in that I enjoy his company, he's funny, and a good hiking partner. But is it more than that? I never thought about it, so I don't know. And is this even a good idea? I mean, we're on staff together, so if something bad happens we still have to see each other two or three times a week. There will be no escaping it, unless I quit the club, which I could never do as its my life now.
But at the same time, its always nice to not be alone.
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| The Hookup Theory |
[07 Oct 2004|06:16pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
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music |
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Bright Eyes "Lover I Don't Have To Love" |
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"Some researchers worry that hooking up gives students sexual experience but no real relationship experience, which could affect their ability to segue into more adult, committed relationships. But Allison Caruthers, a Michigan Ph.D. student who's doing her dissertation on hooking up, cites research showing that people who've experimented with alcohol or marijuana are often psychologically healthier than people who abstained entirely. She believes there's a similarity in hookups. 'People are looking at hooking up as this horrible, wretched thing, but some experimentation may actually be positive in terms of the way you think about sex and relationships.'"
Very interesting. But do we buy it? On the one hand, there is always the risk that one of the people will "catch feelings", if you follow. And that always hurts.
But if you think about it, no matter what one does in a relationship, one will always, ultimately get hurt. Even if a hook up develops into a relationship, that relationship will end, and that will hurt. And hell, even if it doesn't, someone has to die at some point, and that will hurt.
Maybe random hook ups just prepare us for the inevitability of getting hurt, and help us to realize that relationships aren't worth it, that life by yourself is decent, even if it is lonely. I know this sounds cynical, but think about it. If you fall into the lose-lose trap that love realistically is too young, it will be harder as an adult to deal with the rejection and pain, it will be difficult as an adult to learn the coping skills. The minor pain involved with a hookup let down is nothing that comes with the heartbreak of young "love".
Maybe these fancy researchers are onto something.
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| Losing Faith Again |
[07 Oct 2004|12:21am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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George Harrison "All Things Must Pass" |
] |
I know I make mistakes. Hell, I'll even go so far as to say I make more mistakes than I should, more than other people seem to. Last Thursday, for example. Filled with huge mistakes. I know that I'm not going to come out of these mistakes without consequences. But is it really fair that they are so large?
Tonight is poker night. I called the guys over at Cory and Tristan's when I got out of class tonight to see what was going on. Skippy was acting really weird, so I asked straight out if it was cool if I came by to play. He said that it wasn't. I hung up.
Its not cool if I go over and play poker? I mean I know that things have been weird because of the whole Cory tension, and what not. But I was really really hurt that me just getting drunk and being stupid caused me to be banned from the house. It makes me sick to my stomach. I know that people come and go in our lives, but it never stops hurting, does it? Especially these ones. For all the crap that happened, I always held these people as ones who weren't petty or immature, ones who could see through things for what really matters. So I got drunk and was stupid. Its not like that hasn't happened to EVERY SINGLE PERSON in that house.
Luckily, Phil seems to still care. He called me afterwards and said that he was going to skip poker too if I wanted to hang out, and that he and his girlfriend wanted me to go to college night with them. I really appreciate him still being around. Especially when I felt so shitty and alone at that moment.
The bare fact is, that people are stupid. They do mean things, sometimes not knowing, sometimes not caring. You have to deal with that.
Dealing with it doesn't make it hurt less, though.
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rgred's journal
